Always
by PCGirl
Summary: Six years after leaving his family John and Natalie are put back into each other's orbit. But even when life moves on and things change there are some things that always stay the same.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: all characters are property of ABC/Disney. I'm just...borrowing them.

A/N: So I am back once again with a story idea. I've been sitting on this for a couple weeks and just unsure whether it's worthy to post. Warning, this will probably not be Jolie endgame in the way you want/expect from me. Until next time-PCGirl.

* * *

_October 2013_

_N,_

_You were right last night-it's not fair to Liam for me to be in and out of his life like this. It's also not fair to you. All I've ever wanted is for you to be happy. Find that happiness-I've watched you do it before without me, and you've always been better off._

_I know you'll always let Liam know how much I love him and miss him. Know I love you and will miss you too._

_J_

* * *

_June 2018_

"You think we'll get to go to the zoo this trip?" asked seven-year-old Liam as he questioned his mom for the millionth time since getting on the plane in Llanview this morning.

The past four summers this had been a part of their schedule-a week trip out to Seattle to visit the McBain's before heading to Texas to see Jessica and her kids for a week as well.

"I don't know-we'll have to see what Uncle Mike's and Aunt Marcie's schedules are," she smiled as she pulled into the driveway and noticed an unfamiliar car there.

"You think Gabe will be excited to see me?" he asked as she looked towards the front door and watched it open to see Gabe standing there jumping up and down. She smiled at how much more he looked like Michael every visit and then glanced back in the rearview mirror to see Liam was the same way with his own father.

"I'm not sure. Maybe," she laughed, putting the car in park and watched her son sprint out of the car and up the steps with his cousin. "I'll get the bags," she sighed as she got out as well and went towards the trunk. She was trying to figure out how to get everything in one trip when she saw a figure jog towards her.

"You do know you don't have to do it all on your own, right?" chastised Michael McBain as he made his way around the back of the car. "Give me that," he said as he grabbed the large suitcase and placed it on the ground.

"Thanks," she smiled and looked over towards the car. "Who got a new car?"

Michael paused before giving her his answer, ready for the firestorm that was about to start with his next words. "It's John's."

Natalie froze halfway up the walkway, "He's here?"

"Nat-."

"No, don't Natalie me. When did he get here?" she asked and was answered with silence and a guilty look from her friend and near brother-in-law a few times over. "Michael Connor McBain."

"I hate it when you call me that," he mumbled, staring at his feet. He made eye contact with her and sighed before answering, "A month ago."

"A month," she choked out. "So, these last few weeks of communication-when we discussed the logistics of where we're staying and doing-you didn't think it was in mine or Liam's interest to let us know that John was here. In your house?"

"Actually-he's staying with mom. He just came over this morning with-."

"With who?" she said as watched as he froze again. "Damn it, Mike," she muttered under her breath as she left the bags on the walkway and pushed past him. Blowing into the house she found the living room empty except for Marcie who was standing there quietly, but not looking as guilty as her husband.

"Where is he?" she asked and was motioned towards the backyard.

"I sent Gabe and Liam upstairs as a distraction," she said as she rushed off to help Michael with the bags.

"Thank you," she said kindly as she made it through the kitchen and stood at the doors to the backyard. What she had been expecting was not John pushing a little boy on a swing set.

She blinked back the tears that were wanting to fall right now. Not for her own hurt—she had been over his sudden departure for years. But for Liam, who was constantly asking where his daddy was. If he loved him so much why he never came around. And now here was the man with apparently another family of his own that none of the other McBain's thought was important for her to know about.

Taking a deep breath, she walked outside and waited for the sound of the closing kitchen door to get his attention. When those blue eyes met her's she tried to find something to say, "I didn't know you were in town or we would have rescheduled."

John paused at pushing and whispered something to the little boy that couldn't be more than 2 years younger than Liam before walking around, "Gabe let it slip at dinner a few nights ago that you were coming. He's been excited to see his cousin."

"Liam's excited as well-I'm surprised he slept at all last night," she said, keeping her head down to avoid eye contact. "What's his name?" she asked, nodding to the boy who was slowly coming to a stop on the swings.

"Thomas."

Natalie couldn't help but shake her head, "You couldn't be bothered enough to have a relationship with one son, so you decided to have another one?"

John sighed at Natalie's tone-he knew he'd hurt her years ago but thought maybe that was behind them now-apparently it wasn't. "Buddy-go inside and tell Aunt Marcie I said it was ok to have a popsicle-but eat it at the table, ok?"

Natalie watched as he beamed at being allowed to have one before dinner, "Are you going to answer my question?"

"It's not what you think-ok? Yes, he's my son-I legally adopted him."

"And he just happened to be named Thomas? The same name as your dead father?"

"Coincidence-I swear," he said, shrugging his shoulders. "His mom's name was Abigail. When I worked on that case with the Bureau, I met her. She was the waitress at the diner I stopped in at every morning. Single mom and strong headed-like someone else I know," he said with a smirk.

"I never expected to have the feelings I did for her-or for Thomas. After the case ended, they gave me the option to transfer to a field office, and I asked her to join me.

"Everything was fine for the first year and then she started getting sick. She went to a doctor and they told her it was cancer," he said, sitting down on the edge of the patio table, but still being able to see inside that Thomas was now sitting at the kitchen table enjoying every bite. He took a deep breath before speaking again, "We fought it for a year before the doctor's said we were just medically extending her life by a few months, it was pretty extensive throughout her body. She reached out to Thomas' father and asked him to sign over his rights so I could adopt him.

"I didn't know what I was doing-I mean I'd already screwed up on raising Liam. What was I doing trying to take on another man's kid by myself?"

Natalie smiled a bit and felt herself softening a bit towards him at his story, "You've always done that-you don't want a boy to not have a father figure in his life because you know what it's like. You did it with Cole."

"And Rafe," he said, and shook his head and the questionable look she gave him, not wanting to go into details about his time in Port Charles. "Abigail passed away six months ago, and we've just been trying to find that new normal. I was talking to Mike one night and he told us to come to Seattle. That we could figure it out here for a bit. I figured what did I have to lose and took him up on it."

"What all does Thomas know about-," she stopped, unsure of how to continue this conversation.

"About Liam?" he asked and then waited for a nod from her. "He knows that him and Gabe are cousins. I haven't really explained it to him who Liam is exactly to him because I didn't know how to explain why I'm in one's life and not the other. I didn't sleep last night knowing you were coming-I thought about calling, but then worried that you'd change your mind if you knew I was here. Can we hold off on telling them until we've had a chance to talk? A real talk?"

"We could-except Liam knows who you are, John. He has your picture on his bookcase and tells you goodnight every night before bed. Just because you aren't physically in his life doesn't mean I kept you out of it all together. He's going to hear Thomas call you dad. Or Gabe will say Thomas is his cousin too-he's a lot like Marcie, likes to insert foot on occasion," she laughed.

John chuckled a bit, "Ok. Let me talk to Liam first alone. I got myself into this mess-I'll get myself out."

* * *

John took a deep breath before walking into Gabe's room that he had just vacated moments before. Standing there he watched his son playing with some Lego's, trying to build what he believed was a pirate ship. "Can I join you?" he asked and got a nod, but no eye contact was made.

Picking up a few pieces he began to put them together, "It's good to see you again, Liam."

"Is it?" he asked softly, still not looking up.

John realized that Gabe must have told him something about him being here-he wasn't surprised, "Talk to me, Liam."

He finally looked up and John saw his eyes were filled with tears. "Gabe said you have another son."

John sighed; he loved his sister-in-law but of all the traits she had to pass onto her son did it have to be her ability of speaking out of turn. "Yeah, his name is Thomas. You can meet him later-if you want. I'm not going to put any pressure on you having a relationship with him or me. God knows I don't deserve it."

"That's what Grandpa Clint says-along with some other stuff mom won't let me repeat."

John grinned, "What does your mom say about me?"

"That you love me-and you miss me. But I don't know if I believe her."

"Why not?"

"Because if you loved me and missed me you would be around."

"You're both right-I do love you, Liam. I've loved you since the moment your mom told me about you. Nothing-and I mean nothing has ever changed that," he said as he thought of those nine months he thought the boy wasn't his, despite the constant pull he had towards Liam. "I should have been around, and I'm sorry. There are times I get focused on other things and I forget what really matters. What's always mattered is you-having you is the best thing your mom and I have ever done.

"So, no matter where I am-I'm missing you, ok? How about for this week though we don't think about that-we focus on being together and having a good time?"

"Ok," he said in reply and lunged for John, wrapping his arms around him and John couldn't help but let tears fall at the realization for the next week he had his son back.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Wow. I'm so thankful for the reviews. Yeah-angsty Jolie is fun Jolie (to write), and there's definitely a lot of that in this chapter. Italics are all the 2013 scenes. Still working on the next chapter, but it's coming along pretty well. Until next time-uhm, I think someone else should update next ;)-PCGirl.

* * *

_October 2013_

_Natalie felt her vision was blurring as she stared at the books for Rodi's. Looking at the time she realized how late it was and knew she needed to get on to Llanfair and pick Liam up. Closing the books, she heard footsteps coming down the police station hallway and wondered who it was-she was pretty sure the rest of the tech heads had gone home long ago._

_When he turned into her office she had to blink twice-sure she had fallen asleep in the midst of orders and numbers-because standing in front of her right now was John. _

_"What are you doing here?" she asked, standing up but keeping the desk between them. She'd reached out to his handler just weeks ago and given a canned response of they didn't know when he'd be available._

_"I-uhm-came for a visit. Was hoping to spend some time with Liam."_

_Natalie noticed his words, "Just a visit? Not permanently?"_

_"No," he said with a shake of his head. "The FBI wants me to help with a serial killer case."_

_"So, you are putting a case before your family again?"_

_"Natalie," he sighed._

_"There are other agents that are just as good as you-can't they handle this one? The only reason you went back was because you thought you had no life here. But you do-you have a son. Bo has talked about retiring-he needs someone he knows the department is in good hands with."_

_"Maybe-after this case is over."_

_"There will always be another case, John. I know you. Sometimes better than yourself," she said, giving him a half smile._

_"Listen, I will never keep your son from you-but think about this. Think about how it will affect him with you constantly coming in and out of his life. You're here one day and gone the next-that's not fair to him."_

_"I know," he said as he picked up a picture of Liam and her that sat on her desk. "He's getting so big."_

_"I know-that picture is actually about six months old. Wait til you see him now."_

_"I can still see him?" he asked, surprised considering what she'd just said._

_"Of course-didn't I just say I wouldn't keep him from you?" she said as she wrote down her address on a piece of paper and handed it to him along with the spare key she kept in her desk drawer. "I'm not staying at the house right now-here's my apartment number and key. I'll go pick up Liam from mom's and meet you there?"_

_John paused a moment, surprised how open again she was to him being in her life, even if it was just for a few short days, "Sure-I'll pick something up from Rodi's and meet you there."_

The sound of the front door opening pulled Natalie out of the last memories she had with John from five years ago. Looking up she saw Michael standing over her. She scooted to the side so he could join her on the steps.

"You should have told me."

"I know. I'm sorry, ok?"

"Sorry doesn't cut it, Michael. All these years," she sighed as she rubbed her eyes, feeling a headache coming on. "I know John-I admire him for stepping up and agreeing to be a father to another man's child. Even if-."

"He couldn't do the same when he thought Liam wasn't his?" he asked and watched her say nothing, just nod and stare straight ahead. "What you two need to do is have one of your epic John and Natalie fights. Say whatever you want to say to each other-get all the grievances of all this lost time out in the open. Once that happens you two normally can stand each other's presence again."

Natalie actually laughed at his description, "Hard to do that when there's two boys in the house."

"Then let me get with Marcie-we'll take the kids out for pizza and give you two free reign in the house. Just try not to get any blood on the carpet-I've seen you throw a punch," he said with a laugh and went inside.

* * *

"Be good for Uncle Mike and Aunt Marcie, ok?" called Natalie as she watched Liam get into the van with the rest of the kids.

Shutting the door, she turned to looked at John, "Where do you want to start? Because Michael obviously thinks we need to clear the air if we're going to be around each other for the next week."

"Didn't we talk about most of this before? You know-."

"When you showed up for one night and then were gone the next morning?"

_Natalie began to wake up and reached out to the other side of the bed and felt it was empty and cold. That made her immediately know he was gone-she didn't have to open her eyes or hope that maybe he'd just gone to the kitchen to make them their morning coffee. Reaching for the empty pillow she placed it over her face and took in his scent-that perfect mixture of aftershave and coffee. Perfectly him. Perfectly John McBain._

_Cursing she threw the pillow on the other side of the room and heard it hit the closet door. Then she heard the running of feet. She wiped her eyes before he made it to the door, "Morning, buddy."_

_"Where's daddy?" asked Liam as he made his way to the side of the bed and she lifted him up._

_"I'm not sure. Did you sleep well last night?" she asked, trying to change the subject and got a nod in reply. "Good-why don't we go find something to eat?" she said as she scooted them both off the bed and found a robe to throw on._

_Walking into the living room she saw the note and felt the breath be knocked out of her._

"I'm sorry-I shouldn't have left the way you did."

"No-you shouldn't have. I was used to you breaking my heart, but it was new to Liam. He went to bed the happiest I'd seen him in over a year. He had his daddy back. Then he woke up to find him gone once again."

John nodded, remembering when he made the decision to leave in the middle of the night.

_John sat there in the chair watching her sleep-he loved watching her this time of night-her true beauty seemed to come out even more. She'd been right earlier-him coming in and out of Liam's life wasn't fair to him. Maybe Natalie could find someone that could be a full time dad to him-it felt like outside forces didn't want him to be, and as much as he loved this boy-as much as he wanted to protect him and watch him grow-it didn't seem like fatherhood was in the cards for him._

_He leaned over and gave her a kiss on the forehead, his vision blurred with tears as he watched a smile pass over her face. _

_Walking out of the room he took one last glance at her and thought of the all the other times he'd hurt her. This time though-he knew if he did what he was about to do it would crush her. There was no turning back after this._

_Going into Liam's room he kneeled down at his bedside and brushed his hair back. Maybe she'd been right before-maybe they could still be a family and it didn't have to be this way. He had a few days before he had to go to his next assignment-what if he contacted the Bureau and told them he had more important priorities than this case. Because this little boy-he was his number one priority. _

_No, both him and Natalie were better off without him. "I'll always love you, Liam. Take care of your mama, ok?" he whispered and kissed the top of his head._

"I never told anyone you were in town that night," admitted Natalie. "If anyone asked if I'd gotten in contact with you, I'd say no-eventually they stopped asking."

"I'm sorry."

"I wanted to come with you-remember? I was going to uproot mine and Liam's lives so we could be a family."

_"He went to bed so easily. Must be because of his daddy," smiled Natalie as they walked back into the living room from putting Liam down. She went to the fridge and pulled out two beers before handing him one and joining him on the couch._

_"I guess so," he said as he popped the top off his drink and took a sip._

_"John-I know this is pretty forward of me."_

_"You-forward? Never," he grinned._

_"I was thinking-what if Liam and I were to come with you. That way we can work on being a family again."_

_"Natalie," he sighed._

_"Just hear me out. Jessica is living in Texas, and Rex and the rest of my brothers are in London. Other than my mom and dad it's just me and Liam here-yeah, I'll miss Llanview, but we need to work on us. I mean-if you want there to be an us."_

_John smiled and pushed her hair out of her face, "I love the idea of us again-I do, but we're talking about a serial killer. And we know your track record when it comes to those situations. If you are around, I'm going to be more worried about your's and Liam's safety than actually catching the guy."_

_"Will you just think about it? At least for the night? Remember the look in his eyes when he saw you tonight-how excited he was to have you back in his life."_

_"Ok, I'll think about it," he said, giving in for the moment._

_They sat there in the quiet, just enjoying the silence between them like old times. When they could have a full conversation without a single spoken word. He looked over at her and tried to think of something to say, "I-I should probably get going. I'll get a room at the hotel but be back for breakfast."_

_"You don't have to leave-you know. I can get some extra sheets and you can take the couch. Or not-whatever you want is fine with me."_

_John wanted to laugh-she was uncharacteristically nervous for some reason. Scooting closer he placed his hand on her cheek, letting his thumb trace her jaw line for a moment before leaning in and covering her mouth with his. He missed this-missed her touch, her taste, everything that was perfectly Natalie. Pulling back for a moment he saw love in her eyes and hoped his showed as well, "I'm sorry-I shouldn't have."_

_"I've never had any regrets with you, John. I'm not going to start tonight," she said as she grabbed at the back of his neck and pulled him towards her and let his weight push her into the fabric of the couch._

"The only thing I regret from that night is leaving you. I'm sorry, Natalie."

"I think a part of me knew you wouldn't be there in the morning. But I did what I do best-was strong and kept on going forward."

"I'm glad-listen, about Thomas-"

"I'm sorry, John. The flight was long and I'm getting tired. We've aired one grievance tonight-the other is going to have to wait."

"Yeah, sure. I completely understand. Maybe I'll go join the boys for pizza and let you rest."

"Thanks," she said as she watched him go towards the door before heading upstairs.


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: Let's just call this cliffhanger Friday, ok? Ya'll enjoy-and don't kill the messenger (me!) Until next time-PCGirl.

* * *

Natalie walked back down into the quiet living room after she knew John was gone. Everything with John was always intense-just now was no different. Taking a deep breath, she sat down and pulled out her phone-searching for the number before hitting send.

"Hey. I miss you guys," he answered on the second ring. A smile appeared on her face, his voice always seemed to relax her, even thousands of miles away.

"We miss you too. How's it going back home?"

"Good-your tech heads are doing what they are supposed to. No worries," he said as he leaned back in his chair a bit. "Did you tell them yet?"

"No, I couldn't," she sighed, and reached into her jeans pocket and pulled out the ring that she'd been hiding since landing in Seattle and slid it on her finger. "Carter," she said, her voice shaking.

"Hey-what's wrong? You were excited about this trip-you were excited to tell Liam's family the good news."

"John's here."

He gripped the edge of the desk to keep from falling backwards and tumbling out of the chair, "What the hell? Are you serious?"

"Yeah," she said as she got her emotions back in check. "He's been here a month and Michael decided I didn't need to know."

"Well, that's just great. You more than anyone should have been told that. Instead of walking in completely blind. How did Liam take seeing his dad?"

"Actually, I think pretty good all things considered. That's not all-John has a son. He adopted him just before his mom passed away-so technically Liam is a big brother."

Carter knew it was wrong, but he had to laugh. At hearing the silence on the other end, he coughed and got himself back under control, "I'm sorry-I shouldn't be laughing."

"No-you shouldn't," she said, a smile appearing on her face as she pictured him leaning back at his desk laughing.

"Do you want me to come out there?"

She felt her heart melt at his question-he was always willing to drop everything to be at her side for whatever the reason. "The department is already short their Forensic Supervisor for two weeks-let's not add the Chief of Detectives to that list too, ok? I'm a big girl-I can deal with being around John McBain for a few days."

"Tell him to watch out for that right hook," he grinned.

"Yeah, yeah. One-time buddy-one time and you still haven't let me live it down."

"Never. I love you-and I love our family too. Always."

"Love you too-always," she said before hanging up the phone. Closing her eyes, she smiled to herself-he always knew what to say and do to get her in the right frame of mind.

* * *

"I was thinking-maybe we could plan a trip to a Mariners game," said Michael the next morning at breakfast. "Thomas-have you been to a baseball game before?" he asked and received a shake of the head in response.

"I have-Carter took me to a Phillies game," said Liam proudly.

Natalie inwardly groaned at him bringing it up. _No time like the present,_ she thought as she slipped her hand in her pocket and put the ring back on.

"Who is Carter?" asked Marcie, looking between Natalie and Liam.

Natalie put her fork down and clapped her hands together, "Well, this trip was also to share two great pieces of news with you all. To answer your question, Marcie, Carter has been the guy I've been dating for almost a year and asked me to marry him. I said yes," she said as she held up her left hand to show them the ring. And-Liam-do you want to tell them the second thing?"

"I'm going to be a big brother," he said proudly.

Natalie looked over at Liam and couldn't help the tears that began to fall. "Excuse me-I'll be right back," she said as she got up from the table and went outside.

* * *

"Natalie?" said Eve softly as she walked over to the garden area in the backyard and found her sitting on a stone bench.

"Yeah" said Natalie, keeping her head down and not making eye contact. "I'm sorry-I didn't want to drop those things on you all like this. I guess I lost control of this situation when I realized John was here."

"You don't need to apologize for anything, sweetheart," she said as she took Natalie's hand and studied the ring. "It's beautiful."

"Yeah, it is," she said quietly to herself. "I was so excited to tell you all the news-I knew you'd be happy for me. I just didn't think I'd have to look John in the eye when I said it.

"When I saw Thomas for the first time yesterday, I was angry. Not at that little boy, but at John. That he walked away from our family but was willing to have another one with someone else.

"There's some strange irony there. John hates the idea of a boy not having a father figure in his life but look at what he did to Liam. I mean, he has my dad and all my brothers, and now Carter-but John-that's who he's always wanted to have around.

"And me-all I ever wanted was a family. And I thought for so long it was going to include John-I wanted it to include him, but it wasn't meant to be. Carter-he's made me believe in those dreams again. He really is the best to both of us. He dotes on Liam like he's his own son-and though Liam won't call him dad he sees Carter as that.

"I'm not downplaying John's role as his father to Liam-but these past years, no contact except a present he sends through you-my little boy deserves more than that. And Carter is giving us both that-both more than John ever was able to."

Eve smiled at the woman beside her and pulled her into a hug, "All we've ever wanted for you is to be happy. I would have loved nothing more than you to find that with my son, but it sounds like you found it with Carter instead. And Liam has obviously found something with him as well. I'm so excited for you and this new family of yours. I just have one request."

"What's that?" asked Natalie as she pulled out of the hug and wiped her eyes.

"The new baby calls me Grandma Eve as well," she smiled.

"Of course," she smiled and then was silent for a moment. "I probably need to go find John and talk with him."

"Yes, I think my son needs to hear what you just said. Don't feel bad for finding happiness again, Natalie."

"I won't."

* * *

John walked around the kitchen table collecting the dishes from breakfast. He felt like he was going through the motions right now. This is what he had wanted-her to be happy and Liam to have a father figure in his life, so why did it feel so damn hard to breathe?

Looking up he saw Michael standing in the doorway, "What?" he snapped.

"Penny for your thoughts."

John sighed, "My thoughts are I should have made myself scarce while she was in town. And I made the right decision five years ago."

"Six."

"What?" he asked, confused.

"Six. You've been apart for six. I remember because Ginny's godparents were supposed to be the two of you, but you were off doing God knows what in Port Charles and couldn't make it."

"It was five, Mike. Trust me-I know how long it's been since I saw my son last."

Michael studied his brother and realized what he was saying "What the hell did you do, John? You what-you showed back up and took off again?"

"Something like that," he said, avoiding eye contact with his brother.

"So those times we talked before you got serious with Abigail or even after her and I brought up Natalie and Liam. When you said they were better off without you-."

"It was because I made the choice to let them be. There wasn't a restraining order or fake boyfriend in the picture that was making me stay away. It was my own stubbornness."

"No, it wasn't stubbornness-it was all out cruelty. To do that to both of them. I can't believe you-I knew you could be mean to Natalie in the past-I just never thought you'd do it to your own son."

"You think I don't know that? I've missed them both every day for five years-what Abigail and I had was nice, but it was never going to be what Natalie and I have. Just like before with Evangeline and Marty-Natalie always wins."

"Not anymore because she's obviously finally gotten over you and moving on with her life. Not that you ever deserved her. Or Liam," he mumbled under his breath.

John closed the distance between the two of them and was ready to deck Michael when he heard the door open and turned to see his mom and Natalie walk back in.

"We could hear you outside. And I'm sure the kids could hear you too," scolded Eve and watched as both dropped their heads as if they were little boys again and had broken the cookie jar while trying to sneak a treat before dinner.

Natalie made eye contact with Michael and saw he was about to say something. She shook her head to stop him, "What happened in the past is there-in the past, but I think both John and I need to finish our conversation about the present. Alone. Come on, John," she said as she grabbed her purse and went for the car.


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: Alright, glad you all were understanding/ok with this not being a true Jolie-end game story. I don't have any of the next chapter written, but didn't want to hold you up too much on this chapter. Until next time-PCGirl.

* * *

_November 2013_

_"Why don't you just go ahead and call her?"_

_"Hmm?' asked John as he flipped his phone over quickly and looked up at his waitress, noting her nametag read Abigail. He'd been on this case for a month now and it was during the quiet moments like this that his thoughts were always pulled back to Natalie and Liam. It was easy to put them away during the day, but late at night she'd start haunting him again and stay with him through the morning._

_"Whoever is on your screen on your phone. I'm pretty observant-and you've come in here the last week and sat there, barely drank your coffee while staring at your phone. You don't seem to be the social media type so there must be something else going on."_

_"It's nothing," he lied._

_"Doesn't seem like nothing," she said with a smirk and went off to help another customer. _

John wasn't sure why the memory of the first time Abigail called him out on Natalie had popped into his head on the way over to the neighborhood park just now. Probably because he knew she was watching this moment and laughing at him while saying _'__I told you so.'_

Sitting down on the picnic table that Natalie had just occupied he paused a moment before saying anything, "Congratulations, by the way."

"Thanks," she said and was quiet-unsure what to say or where to begin.

"Where do we want to start?" he asked, feeling the same way.

"When I was a little kid, I always dreamed about having a family. Having a house to call my own that I didn't have to worry about being evicted from because Roxy was being-well Roxy. With a husband to help me raise our children and protect us.

"And for a moment I had that with you. We bought that house and I knew when you came home from Port Charles all my dreams would come true. I was raised in AC casinos. I knew better than to bet against the house, and yet with you I always did. When I opened that envelope from Todd-it all came crashing down. I remembered Roxy telling young me that I didn't deserve nice things, and a part of me thought maybe she'd been right."

"Natalie," he said softly, his heart breaking at what she was feeling back then.

She shook her head and he became silent, letting her continue, "Then you came back that one night I thought maybe I was wrong-maybe now, without my dad's interference, we could get it right. But by morning you were gone again. It took me a really really long time to trust a man after that. I couldn't put my heart through it again, and I certainly wasn't going to put Liam through it. Unless I knew-without a shadow of a doubt that what we had was real."

She paused and looked down at the ring on her finger, "I found that with Carter. He loves to tell the story of how he finally was able to break down my barriers. Cris moved back to town with his wife Erin and their kids. One-night Carter went to Capricorn and Cris was helping Blair out behind the bar. He stayed there til closing constantly questioning him about me. To hear Cris tell the story it was like he was a part of the Spanish Inquisition," she laughed.

"Cris thought back to when I first came to town and was able to give him the advice he needed to broach me. It worked, and I'm so thankful that I took a chance with him. He's giving me what I've always wanted-and what for the longest time I wanted with you."

"I'm so sorry-I never wanted you to feel that way-I wanted you happy. And I thought you could find it with someone who was better for you than me."

"Carter's not necessarily better-he's just what I need. He doesn't come with baggage or ghosts. The case gets put away at the end of the shift and for the most part stays that way. What with you see with him is what you get. Pretty straight forward," she finished, looking over at him she was able to read him pretty well.

"Enough about that-Thomas," she said, letting the name hang there between them for a moment.

"When I first started my relationship with Abigail, I was uneasy about being around him. I didn't want him to see me as a father figure, especially because of Liam. But it happened anyways-and then she got sick. I couldn't walk away from her then, and I couldn't look a dying woman in the eye and tell her no, that I wouldn't raise her son."

"There's irony there-you wouldn't look me in the eye that night and instead slipped out of our lives in the darkness. And then yesterday-to find out you have a son-it was a lot to take in."

"Yeah, I completely get that. You know-yesterday when I got to the pizza place Liam and Thomas were playing a game. They hit it off so easily, maybe-just maybe they can have some sort of brother relationship after all. If you are ok with that," he backtracked.

"Kids are pretty easy like that-they don't see the complexity of a relationship. They just see another kid to add to the mix. It'd be nice for him to have that relationship, kind of like with you and Michael have."

John tweaked his jaw a bit at the comment, "Considering I was about to punch his lights out when you and mom walked in earlier maybe not."

"What'd he say?" she asked with a slight laugh. She knew they'd walked into something intense earlier-just hadn't been exactly sure what.

"That I didn't deserve you-or Liam."

"That wasn't fair of him to say that-you do deserve Liam. And he deserves to have his dad in his life."

"It wasn't far from the truth-especially when it comes to you. You were always better without me."

Natalie gave him a side eye-she wasn't going to argue the point that he seemed to be the only one that thought so. "Your son really wants to go to the zoo while we're here. Why don't we go get the boys and it just be the four of us today? Let the boys get to know each other and us better," she said as she got off the picnic table and he followed. "You and Michael probably need to go to neutral corners for a bit anyways."

* * *

"Carter-it was so much fun!" exclaimed a tired Liam that evening while Facetiming back home. "There was this grizzly bear-and he stood on his hind legs and growled at us. He had to be twenty feet tall!" he over exaggerated while throwing his arms in the air to show is size.

Carter couldn't help but smile at Liam's excitement. When Natalie had texted him earlier that her and Liam had joined John and Thomas for a zoo excursion, he wasn't sure how to feel about that. But seeing a boy he thought of as his own so excited he felt those worries melt away, "That sounds amazing. You get a good night's rest, ok? I miss you."

"Miss you too," he said with a sleepy yawn. "I love you, Carter."

"Love you too bud," he said as he watched Natalie begin to walk out of the room. When she was in her room he smiled, "How are you feeling?"

"Other than worn out from walking all day great."

"No issues with John?"

"Not really," she said. "We talked earlier-I told him what happened after he left. How I was when you met me. How Cristian helped you figure out how to win me over," she smiled.

"Speaking of Cris-I ran into him when I was picking up lunch earlier. Asked him if I was out of my mind with being ok that you were spending the day at the zoo with McBain."

"What'd he say?" she asked, humor coming through in her voice.

"He asked me one question-how much do I trust you?"

"And?" she replied, a sudden fear creeping up.

"With my entire life and beyond that," he said and was surprised to see her eyes fill with tears. "Hey-why are you crying?"

"Because you trust me so completely. I'm not sure I've ever felt that before from someone. God knows that was one of mine and John's problems."

"Well, that's one thing we definitely have going for us."

"Just one?" she teased.

"Besides others. Get some rest. I've got court in the morning, so I won't be available until after lunch. Take care of my family."

"I will. Love you, always."

"Love you always too, Natalie," he said with a smile before ending the call.

Natalie put her phone down and laid back on the bed before grabbing the book she had brought with her. Today had been nice-and knowing that Carter had no reservations about this made it even better. She was looking forward to seeing Liam's relationship with his dad grow-even if it was for a week.

* * *

"Goodnight, buddy," said John as he closed the door to Thomas' room and walked downstairs to where his mom was sitting on the couch.

"Did ya'll have a good day?" she asked as she put down the cup she'd been drinking from. When she heard earlier that John and Natalie had taken the boys out for some time alone, she was happy. She hoped they could find a way to co-parent and thought this might be the first step.

"Yeah, we did," he smiled. "It wasn't just being with Liam though-it was being near Natalie again."

"You two always had that connection-I remember seeing it that first meeting."

John let out a long breath, "That was a long time ago, mom."

"I know. But I also know you two were really great friends first. Can't you do that? For Liam's sake. Or are you going to take the next five days to create a relationship with him again and then let it fail?"

"No, I can't do that to him or Thomas. Or myself even. But I'm not going to screw things up for Natalie. Not this time."

"Why do you think you being in her life again, just as a friend, will screw it up?"

John ran his hands through his hair as he paced the room, "It seems like when we're in each other's orbits I do nothing but hurt her. Look at when we first met with Cristian and the Vegas fiasco. Or getting Jared killed by Mitch Laurence. Hell-when I came back after my accident-the way I treated her," he sighed.

"She still means something to you-I can tell."

"She always will," he smiled, his eyes getting misty. "She changed me so much mom-and all of it for the better. She made me live again-she made me love again. Not to lessen the baby that Marty lost, but she made me a father. And what did I do? I threw it all away. I would love nothing more than to be in her life again, even it if it's just as a friend, but I can't screw up what she has with this new guy."

"Then don't focus on what you don't want to do-focus on what you do. Finally getting to be a father to Liam. The rest will fall into place just like it should," she said and watched John nod in agreement.


	5. Chapter 5

A/N: I struggled hard on this chapter. For a lot of different reasons. Finally figured out how to write the last scene so I'm posting before I change my mind. Until next time-PCGirl.

* * *

"Thanks again for letting me take him for the night." said John, as he stood there in Michael's living room the afternoon before Natalie and Liam left. The last week had been great-he was actually feeling like maybe they could finally have the relationship he had always wanted.

"It's no problem. He's really enjoyed this. I'm glad it finally happened," she said with a polite smile. Hearing footsteps she looked over to see Liam bounding down the stairs and run to her for a hug.

"You be good for your dad tonight, ok? And Grandma Eve too."

"I will. Bye mom," he said and took off out the door with John following behind him.

Natalie walked into the kitchen and smiled at seeing Michael sitting at the table and came over to join him, "Hey. We really haven't gotten to talk a lot this trip. What's on your mind?"

"What are you doing, Natalie?" he sighed.

She shook her head in confusion, "Uhm, I was about to start packing, but first I thought I'd spend some time with my friend that I only get to see once a year"

"That's not what I'm talking about. What are you doing with John?"

She laughed, "I'm not doing anything _with _John-except for letting him be a father to his son. Which is what I've always wanted-for both of them. You know that."

"And that's all?" he asked, with a raised eyebrow showing he didn't believe her.

"Yes, Michael-that's all," she said, feeling suddenly defensive on her choices of the past week. For the most part she'd stayed off to the side and just observed. Liam had soaked in every moment he could with John-and she could tell John was doing the same thing.

"You have a fiancé-remember?"

"Haven't forgotten that. What are you getting at? That I'm using this opportunity to win John back over? That I'm going to completely forget what Carter means to me, or that I'm pregnant with his child, and have a secret tryst with John? Seriously, Michael?"

"I didn't mean it like that. I just don't want you or my nephew to get hurt by my brother again."

"Well, you should have thought about that before you had me come for a visit when you knew we were going to run into each other."

"I said I was sorry."

"I know," she sighed. "I don't think John's going to hurt Liam this time-he seems to have realized all the time he's lost with him already. As for me-he can't hurt me any worse than he already has."

They both sat there in the quiet for a few minutes before Michael spoke up, "This Carter guy-he treats you right?"

Natalie smiled, his voice reminding her of Rex and Kevin and how they grilled her about him when she finally admitted she'd started dating again. "The best. And Liam as well. I don't know what we would do without him."

* * *

John sat there staring at his phone, trying to decide whether to make the call or not. Looking over at his two boys playing in the living room of his mom's house he knew he needed to do this. Making the excuse that it was for his own peace of mind since the guy was going to be around Liam for the foreseeable future.

"Buchanan," answered the voice on the other end.

"Hey Bo-it's John."

Bo smiled; he'd been waiting for this call. It had taken a few days longer than he expected, having already heard from Carter that John was out in Seattle right now. "John-hey. What can I do for you?"

"Listen-you can tell me it's none of my business, and it probably isn't-but this Carter guy."

"He's one of the good guys, John. I wouldn't let Natalie or Liam anywhere around him if he wasn't. And I wouldn't be putting his name in the hat for Commissioner when I finally retire at the end of the year."

"You're retiring? I thought you'd never do that," he joked.

Bo sighed, "John-you haven't been around in six years. And I don't really know why the hell not and I don't care. What I do care about is my niece. My niece who I watched focus on nothing but her job and Liam's happiness for five of those years.

"Watching Carter finally win her over, and seeing that spark in her eyes again, it amazing. And watching that little boy finally have a male role model to look at like a father was pretty awesome as well. You made whatever decision you did, and you have to live with it. You can at least have some peace knowing that they are ok."

John nodded, "Ok, yeah-I guess I really don't have any other choice, do I?"

"Not really," said Bo as he leaned back in his chair a bit. "So, tell me what else is going on with you? I heard you have another son."

John nodded, glad to hear Bo's tone turn more friendly. "Yeah, I do. His name is Thomas and he's five," he said the two friends began to catch up.

* * *

Michael wiped his face again as he stood on the other side of the closed door. He wondered if he should wait for John and Liam to get here before waking her. No, he was a doctor-he was used to giving bad news just as much as John was.

"Natalie," he said as he knocked. Trying to be loud enough to wake her but keep his kids asleep. Hearing movement on the other side he knocked again, "Hey-can I come in?"

"Michael?" she asked as she opened the door, her eyes blinking still with sleep.

"Yeah-let me in," he said, softly.

"Sure. What's going on?" she asked, her mind still not comprehending why he was coming into her room at-what time was it?

"I just got a call from Bo," he said, and watched her suddenly become fully awake.

"No. No-why would Bo call you? Is it Mom? Dad?"

Sighing, Michael shook his head, "It's Carter. He was shot."

"No. I talked to him before bed. He was home-he wasn't on call tonight."

"There was a hostage situation. The department called him, and he went to help. You've been in relationships with cops long enough-you know that's what they do."

Natalie nodded, feeling herself begin to hyperventilate, "Is he?"

"No, he's in surgery. Your dad had a business contact here in Seattle. The guy is having his private plane fueled up and ready for you and Liam to go home."

"Liam," she said, her heart breaking for her little boy. How was she going to tell him?

"John already told him that something happened back in Llanview and you two are heading home tonight. He's on the way here now. It's going to be ok, Natalie," he said as he took her by the shoulders to try and calm her down.

"He has to," she sobbed and allowed herself to fall apart.


	6. Chapter 6

John took a sip of coffee and rubbed his eyes. By the time him and Mike had gotten Natalie to the airport and dropped her rental car off it was almost daylight. Instead of going back to the house they had decided to go to the diner near the hospital before Michael started an early shift.

His mind went back to last night-the look on her face broke him. He hated to see her hurt. All he had wanted was hold her and tell her it'd be ok, but didn't think he had the right to do so.

"What are you thinking over there?" asked Michael over the rim of his cup before setting it down.

"Maybe I should go to Llanview. You know-to help out with Liam while Carter recovers."

Michael shook his head at his brother's suggestion, "That is the probably the worst thing you could do."

"You don't think my son needs me?"

"I'm not saying he doesn't need you. But I am going to point out that there are plenty of Buchanan's and Balsom's in Llanview that can take care of him and make sure he's ok."

John paused before speaking, thinking back about how Natalie was after Jared's death, "I want you to remember how she was after she thought I died. And even after when I was recovering. She's going to need someone to remind her to take a break. To focus on not just helping him recover, but herself as well-to not lose herself like she did before with me."

"And what? You think you should be the one to do it? Why John? Why you?"

John gave a half smile as he finished off his coffee, "Because she's always been there for me. And I don't want my son to lose his mother because she's so wound up in Carter that she forgets who she is."

Michael just shook his head and laughed at his brother's logic, "Fine. Just do me one favor."

"What's that?"

"Don't make her choose. Go as a friend and Liam's father. Nothing else."

John sighed as he finished his cup and placed it on the table, "I'm not going to ruin her life, Mike. I think I've done that enough already."

* * *

John glanced down at Thomas as they began to walk into the hospital and realized he was on the verge of tears. Stopping he pulled him to the side and kneeled down in front of him, "Hey, Thomas. Are you ok?"

"No," he said in a quiet voice.

"Why not?" he asked and suddenly realized what the issue was. It hadn't even crossed his mind until just now, "Because of your mom?" he asked and got a nod.

"I'm sorry buddy, I didn't think of that," he said as he dropped his head and thought for a moment, "You know how Uncle Mike is a doctor and works in a hospital too? That's because he's helping people. That's why people come here-because they need help or want to help. Well, that's kind of what we're doing-we're going to help Liam out. But first we need to see Natalie, ok?"

"I don't want her to be sick," he said sadly.

"She's not. But she has a good friend that is. So, we're going let her know we're here for her and Liam first, and then go find get your brother. Ok?" said John as he stood up and put out his hand for Thomas to take.

"Ok," he said with a nod and took John's hand.

As they made their way off the elevator John groaned at seeing Clint there with Viki and Bo. He should have known better, but there was nothing he could do now but face the music.

"What the hell are you doing here?" shouted Clint as he stomped across the room.

"I thought Natalie could use some help with Liam while Carter recovers. How is he doing, Bo?" he asked as he made eye contact with his friend and former boss.

"He's out of surgery. Everything seems good. Natalie's in with him now."

"Good. Can you let Natalie know we're here?"

"You are not going anywhere near my daughter or grandson. She was out of her mind to let you be near Liam this past week."

"Well, that's her choice and not yours, isn't it, Clint?" asked John with a slight smirk.

"You must be Thomas," said Viki as she came over and kneeled down to Thomas' height. John smiled, leave it to her to try and defuse the situation and kindly remind them that there was a child in their presence.

"Obviously, John must have had a child with his harlot," scoffed Clint.

"Clint," she said through gritted teeth and turned back to the little boy. "Liam's been telling me all about the fun you've had this last week. I know he'll be so happy to see you. Maybe if it's ok with your dad we can go down to the cafeteria and find you something to eat. Maybe even some ice cream. Is that ok, John?" she asked with a smile.

"That's fine. Thank you, Viki," he said as he watched Thomas walk off with Viki before turning back to Bo. "Will you let Natalie know I'm here please?"

"Sure," he said with a nod, unsure he should leave the other two men alone by themselves.

Walking into the room he saw Carter was still asleep, and Natalie was holding his hand tightly, almost falling asleep herself, "Hey. How's he doing?"

"Still sleeping. I can't believe he's going to be ok," she said as she felt the tears begin to come again. "Is everything ok?" she questioned, noticing a look on Bo's face.

"John and Thomas are here. I think John wanted to talk to you about why. Your mom took Thomas to the cafeteria as a distraction."

"What? I-can you stay with Carter for a few minutes?" she said as she kissed his forehead before walking towards the door.

"Of course, honey," he said as he took the now vacant chair. Sighing he closed his eyes, tired from the events of the past thirty-six hours.

Natalie took one last look before walking into the waiting room and seeing John and her dad standing nose to nose, "John."

"Hey. I know I should have called, but I thought you might need some help with Liam."

"She hasn't needed your help in six years-why should she even give you the time of day?" asked Clint.

"Dad, stop," said Natalie as she rubbed her eyes from exhaustion. "I'm an adult and can make my own choices."

"He's just using you while you are preoccupied with Carter."

Natalie said nothing and turned to John, "Come with me," she said as they walked towards Carter's room. "Why are you here? Really John?"

"I know you-and I know you are going to be completely focused on his recovery. I thought Thomas and I could keep Liam distracted for a few days. That's all, I promise."

Natalie gave him a slight smile and rubbed her eyes, "Sure-that's fine. He's with Roxy right now. I'm not sure if they are at the salon or the hotel though."

"I don't mind checking both. Probably should get a room for a couple days anyways. Get some rest, Natalie. You aren't going to do Carter any good if you are in a bed down the hall due to exhaustion."

"I know," she sighed and looked back at the room. "I need to get back to him-he hasn't woken up, but I want to be there when he does," she explained, watching John nod and knowing he always had felt the same way when it was her in the bed.

"Go, I've got this," he said and walked off.

Natalie stood there for a moment and watched him. She didn't have time or the energy to push back on him right now. Turning towards the hospital room door she put her energy in helping Carter, hoping he would wake soon, and they could start the healing process.


	7. Chapter 7

A/N: When I created the character of Carter I really didn't have a face/actor in mind. Writing these scenes out Billy Miller kept popping in my head. So, we'll just go with that. One more chapter and this thing is done. Oh, and guess who has a Joliday fic ready for December? ;) Until next time-PCGirl.

* * *

_July 2017_

_Carter looked back as he watched Natalie walk out of Capricorn before turning his attention back to Cristian Vega behind the bar, "What do you know about her?" he asked. Having just watched the interaction between the two of them he knew there was some sort of history there and thought maybe the other man could help him out._

_Cris furrowed his brow at the question, "What do you mean?"_

_"She's gorgeous, smart, the best forensic tech I've ever seen. I've been trying to get to know her outside of work and she's put this barrier up."_

_"Ahhh," he said with a chuckle and tossed a bar rag in the dirty bin._

_"What? What's that mean?"_

_"You know she has a kid, right?"_

_"Yeah, Liam, isn't it?" he said and got a nod in response. "By the way-who the hell would walk away from either of them."_

_He shook his head, not sure what had happened to make McBain leave town. He'd tried to get the story out of Natalie before and she wouldn't give him answer. Just said he wasn't around anymore and changed the subject. He knew better than to push with her._

_"She had a rough childhood-and I know Roxy brought a couple guys around that were pretty questionable. She's probably trying to make sure she doesn't repeat it with Liam."_

_"So how do I get her to realize I'm not one of those guys?"_

_Cris thought for a moment, he really didn't know this guy well except that he was working at the PD now, but figured he'd give him a start and keep an eye on him, "Natalie's biggest issue is trust. That she can trust you one hundred percent and you trust her just the same, if not more. Probably more now that she has Liam. She's not just going to let anyone in if she thinks there's a chance they could hurt him._

_"It's not easy-she will be stubborn and put everyone else's wants and needs above her own. But it's worth it. Trust me."_

Carter sat there in the hospital bed thinking back to the night he finally was able to figure out how to win Natalie's heart. Hearing a knock on the door he responded and watched in silence as the other man came in. He'd asked Bo for the number earlier-not wanting to worry Natalie about this conversation just yet. Looking John McBain over he realized just how much Liam looked like his father-some of his mannerisms were definitely Natalie but looks wise he was all John.

"You wanted to see me?"

"Yeah-I wanted to talk about why you are here. In Llanview."

John nodded and opted to stand and stay near the door instead of coming closer, "I wanted to make sure Liam was ok. He cares for you very much-and I know he'd be devastated if something happened to you."

"Well, I'm fine-as you can see."

"Good."

"You sure about that?" he asked with a smirk. "Wouldn't it have been better for you to have me to kick the bucket? You can walk back into your life and have it all again?"

John felt a sudden anger at the suggestion, "I don't know what Natalie's told you about me or my life growing up, but my dad was a cop and he was killed in the line of duty. I know first-hand what it can do for a kid to lose someone they love like that. And I watched what losing my dad did to my mom. I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy, and I certainly wouldn't wish it on someone that means so much to me like Natalie and Liam."

"What does Natalie mean to you?"

John couldn't help but give a slight smile, "She woke up something inside of me that I'd long buried away. And even when I pushed her away because I didn't want to face my feelings she was there. She saved me and I'll always be grateful to her for that-and for giving me Liam."

"You still love her?"

"Always," he said with a shrug as he looked down at the hospital tile. "But I can still love her from a distance, and with nothing given to me in return."

"How far of a distance is it going to be?"

John furrowed his brow, "Honestly? I'm not sure yet. I'm trying to figure out the single parent thing with Thomas. Right now, I'll stay in Seattle with my brother and mom, but maybe in the future we'll come back East. Not necessarily Llanview, but close by. I'm not going to intrude on your family with her, Carter. I just want a relationship with my son."

"That's all?"

"I promise you-that's all," he said as the hospital room door opened, and Natalie walked in. "I'll let you go. Glad we could talk."

"Yeah, same here," he said as he watched the other man walk out of the room before turning his attention to Natalie. "Hey," he said as she leaned down and kissed him.

"Hey-what was that about? Did he show up on his own?"

"No, I called him. We needed to make sure we're on the same page with everything."

"Everything?" she asked with a raised eyebrow.

"You. Liam. Us. All of it," he said with a shrug.

'Carter-I love you. It killed me to think I could have lost you. John-he's my past, and even with him finally having a relationship with Liam he's still my past. Please know that."

"I know that, and I've never doubted that," he said as he took her hand and kissed it. "I had to make sure you were his past."

* * *

Closing her car door Natalie made her way across the parking lot. The conversation she'd had with Carter was still on her mind, and she knew she needed to get to the bottom of this with John.

Walking into Rodi's she smiled at seeing Liam and Thomas at the pool table. Turning away and walking to the bar where John was working on papers, she dropped her purse down before taking a seat, "Figured I'd find you here."

"Yeah, I decided since I was in town, I probably should look everything over. Since, I still technically do own the place."

"Everything should be pretty straight forward-I've got mom's accountant doing it all now. I didn't have time and figured you wouldn't want dad's hand on this place."

She watched as John nodded and decided to go all in, "Do you want to tell me why you are really here?"

"I told you-to help with Liam," he said with a shrug.

"I can handle our son by myself, John."

"I know you can," he spoke and turned to put the books away and give Natalie his full attention.

"Then what is it? Because there is obviously a second reason you are here."

John hung his head down and tried to figure out the best way to say this, "I keep thinking about after my accident-and my recovery."

"So, what-you think I'm going to screw up what I have with Carter and you'll rescue me again?" she asked, a mixture of anger and hurt in her voice.

"No, that's not it at all. I thought maybe if I was here, I could make sure you remembered to focus on you and Liam. Not let you forget who you are-not like before. It was silly-and Mike was right-I shouldn't have come."

"No, I'm glad you did," she said with a smile. "And I'm glad you finally told the truth. But I'll be ok, John. When you left years ago you knew I would be."

John nodded, "I know. I guess-there's a part of me that wants to be there to help you still. It was second nature for so long."

"Yeah, it was. But the one thing we've always been is friends. We can still do that, right?" she said as she felt her eyes get misty.

"Definitely," he said as he watched Liam run over to where they were talking. "Hey bud-ya'll having fun?"

"Yeah, but Thomas could use some pointers," he said in a very matter-of-fact tone.

"Well, then let's do it," said Natalie with a laugh as she got out of her chair and John came out from behind the bar and they fell into a rhythm of parenting and friendship.


	8. Chapter 8

A/N: Whew. I struggled so hard with this ending-when I started writing this I knew it wasn't Jolie end game in the sense of them being a couple, but more so getting back to that friendship they had first. Hope it comes across that way. Until next time-ya'll are the best-PCGirl.

* * *

_November 2018_

Taking the long drive up to Llanfair John looked in the rearview mirror at Thomas' expression at seeing the house and had to chuckle at him.

"This place is huge!" exclaimed Thomas as he got out of the car and made his way to the front door. "Does Liam live here?"

"No, this is his Grandma Viki's house," smiled John. Ringing the doorbell, he nodded as Carter answered, "Hey man."

"Hey-glad you could make it. Liam-why don't you go show him where Ryder and Bree are," he said as the older one grabbed his brother's hand and took him off to parts unknown.

"He's going to be so spoiled when you leave here," laughed Carter as Natalie walked into the foyer and joined them.

Natalie saw the look on John's face at seeing her and held a hand up, "Don't say it-I know I'm as big as a house."

"I was going to say you look beautiful," he said with a bashful smile.

"Beautiful like a beached whale," she said with an eye roll. "How long are you in town for?"

"Couple days-Marcie did some research for me and found a couple apartments to look at."

"Apartments?" questioned Natalie as she looked between the two men. "You're moving here?" She had expected him to move closer to see Liam more, but hadn't expected it to be Llanview.

John looked at Carter and gave a slight laugh, "You didn't tell her?"

Carter smiled and patted John on the back, "You are looking at the LPD's new chief of detectives."

"Wow-uhm-congratulations," she said with a smile that he could tell was more to cover the shock. "I'm going to go in the kitchen-I told Dad to behave with you."

"I got his back," joked Carter as the two watched her walk off. "Sorry about that."

"She doesn't seem to be very keen on the idea."

"She's fine-she was just thrown off by the sudden announcement."

"I'm not taking the job if she's not ok with this."

"She'll be fine. You two go talk-I'll keep an eye on the boys," he said as he walked into the library and left John alone in his thoughts before heading towards the kitchen.

* * *

John stood there in the doorway watching her move around the kitchen. When Carter had reached out to him about the job, he wasn't sure whether to take it or not. The chance to be permanently near Liam was great, but he wasn't sure what Natalie's thoughts had been. He'd expressed those reservations to Carter already-and the other man had told him he had no problem with him being in their lives again. He was confident with where Natalie's heart was-and honestly, John was too.

Natalie could feel his eyes on her, and despite her best reflexes she felt a shiver go down her spine. Looking over she smiled at him, "Dad already run you off?"

"No, I wanted to talk," he said as he walked towards her and picked up an apple out of the fruit basket that always sat on Viki's kitchen counter. "Are you ok with me coming back to Llanview? Honestly, Natalie. Because I can say no."

"I'm not going to keep you-."

"From Liam, I know," he interrupted. "But this is more than that. This is us-you and me-working side by side every day. Just like before and I do not want to get in between you and Carter, ok? This isn't trying to win you back-I swear. All I've ever wanted was you to be happy and in love. It's not with me and I'm ok with that."

Natalie blinked back tears suddenly and groaned, "Damn hormones. I am completely fine with you being at the LPD again. I do have a question for you though."

"Shoot," he said with a nod.

"When I was going to marry Brody, you were ready to run away from Llanview as fast as you could, knowing if you had told me the truth on your feelings, I would have called the whole thing off. Now-you know where my heart is and where it's always going to be. Why are you so willing to be here now? Is this some sort of self-inflicted penance you are giving yourself?"

"I need to find some stability in my life-just not for myself but for Thomas as well. I like the idea of him growing up near his brother. Seeing the two of them together reminds me of myself and Mike when we were young.

"As for the comparison of Brody to Carter-there isn't any. I could always tell you were going through the motions with Brody-you wanted that family and you were going to force yourself to have it with him. With Carter it's the real deal-anyone that's not blind can see that."

Natalie stared down at the counter and pretended to wipe off a spot, "So I guess this means you are my boss again, huh?"

"Afraid so," he said with a smirk. Hearing the kitchen door swing open loudly he turned to see Liam come running towards him.

"Hey. What's going on?"

"Thomas said y'all were moving here. Is that true?" he asked, his blue eyes showing hope and excitement at the idea.

John kneeled down so he was eye level with Liam, "Yeah, are you ok with that?"

"I love it," he said as he threw his arms around his dad's neck.

Natalie smiled and wiped her eyes. Seeing her son so excited at having his dad and brother here made everything else seem trivial. She knew they could do this-working side by side in the office and the field was something that was so natural to them and being co-parents to Liam was what she'd wanted for so long that it really was the next logical step.

John looked up at Natalie, noticing her crying and couldn't help but give a slight smile. When he'd left Llanview all those years ago he thought this was over-that there was no way he'd ever have either of them in his life again. And this town wasn't going to be home anymore.

But someone had other plans and now he was getting to come home after all. And though their relationship would be on the friendship side from here on out Natalie was still going to be a part of it. Always.


End file.
